Lingerie and Karaoke

Last night, my maid of honor - with the help of other family members - threw an incredible bachelorette lingerie and karaoke party for me.

I just want to send out a HUGE thanks to everyone who came and especially to those who helped make it happen!  I had such a wonderful time and it really made me feel special.

Plus, you know, I got to take home some very pretty and sexy pieces that will be well-appreciated.

In the other part of the very large house, Chris had a poker-bachelor party, and I think he had some fun, too.


Oh yeah and they made me dress up a little silly...but the photo would not be safe for work, so I won't post it.
BUT I will post this picture of me and my adorable niece just before I donned my bachelorette gear:

Thanks, everyone!!!!!

Bachelorette Weekend!

When I talked to my maid of honor - also my little sister - about what I would like for my bachelorette, we discussed primarily that I liked the idea of doing an inexpensive weekend getaway. Only she and one other bridesmaid could make the trip, so we adjusted the plans accordingly.
With that in mind, we made plans for a weekend in Reno.  Yes, not the most exciting of all places, but close enough to drive and generally inexpensive with enough fun things to do that those activities plus good company ought to make for an enjoyable weekend.

Well.
This trip was supposed to take place this past weekend.
I don't know who saw the weather reports, but on Thursday night I got text messages from my sister, my dad, and my step-mom who had all noted the truly awful weather hitting the Sierra-Nevadas.
This weather was so intense that they closed the roads from the Bay to Reno.
Closed them.
As in, shut down, no one is getting through here.

Many curse words were awash in my brain.
What were we going to do now?

Some ideas surfaced, none of them sounding really all that great
.....
until....
I remembered that, since Chris works for Southwest Airlines, we can get these things called Buddy Passes (a limited number) so that others can fly on standby for free.  After talking to Chris, I decided that I wanted to use these passes for my bridesmaids and fly somewhere.

Where?
Glad you asked.
Las Vegas!

And with that, we were off and running.  We changed all the plans, notified people, adjusted reservations, checked flights and went through the process of completely flipping the trip upside down because, even though both places are in Nevada, the planning and prep for trips to Vegas are definitely not the same as for Reno.

Once everything was in place (with the help of many people!!!), Friday afternoon all three of us made our ways to the airports - myself and one BM to Oakland, the other to San Francisco.  We all, very thankfully, were able to make our flights and we landed together in Las Vegas at nearly the same time.

So far our trip was off to a great start.
I don't want to detail all of our shenanigans here, only partly because that would take to long, but suffice to say we had ourselves lots of fun.

We walked (a lot!!), drank, talked, ate, socialized, and gambled.
I also had some really lovely and meaningful conversations with the BMs, and got to reconnect with them both on several levels.
We even watched the lights go out on the Strip on Saturday night from 8:30 to 9:30, in honor of Earth Hour.  I videoed it, too.

The only truly difficult part of the trip was coming home.
Remember how those Buddy Passes mean that you fly stand-by?
Well, trying to leave Las Vegas on a Sunday afternoon is apparently a very bad idea.
We arrived at the airport at about 1:00pm.
We jumped from gate to gate trying to make flights (all of us with sore feet, some of us with more blisters and injuries than others).
Then, after 9pm we were waiting on the very. last. flight. home.  The employees told us that I was at the top of the list, and my BM's were #s 3 and 4 to get on the plane.
I made a strategic decision to go to San Diego instead - since there were seats on those flights and since I was going the next day anyways (more on that later) - hoping that having me off the list would mean that my BM's chances of getting on that flight were improved.

I moved to the gate for my new flight to San Diego (after calling an old friend who graciously agreed to pick me up and give me a place to crash for the night!!!) and waited.  I got a boarding pass right away (meaning that I was almost-guaranteed to get a seat).

When I was on the jetway, I got a text message from one of my BM's saying that she got on the flight....but that the second BM hadn't gotten on yet.  My heart sang and then sank.  I felt like I was abandoning them and I hoped against all hope and reason that they would both get on that plane and get to be home that night.

I spent my flight in an anxious sweat for my compatriot.
When I landed I got good news: both BM's got on the flight and made it home!

So.
In all, it was a really great trip and I'm soooooo happy we went.
Next time, though, we're trying for the very first flight out!

Hapy New Year!

As promised, with the new year's arrival, I am back in the saddle of wedding planning already.

And, this year, when the clock struck midnight, I had one thought:
This is the year I am getting married.

Although, because he had to work, Chris could not be with me on New Year's Eve, my thoughts were with him just the same as the 2011 was ushered in as the year when he and I will wed.

On that point, I find myself once again amazed to realize that there is/are
4 1/2 Months until the wedding
OR
128 days.

To me, this means that now, more than ever, it's buckle-down time on the planning.

Thankfully, we have nearly all of the major pieces nailed down.

• Venue: Check!
• Caterer & Menu: Check! (Yes, we had our *real* tasting, and it was de-lic-ious! I'll write a post on that later)
• Hotel for Guests: Check!
• Officiant: Check!
• Photographer: Check! (Had a meeting that I still need to post about!)
• Videographer: Check!
• Florist: Check!
• DJ: half-Check! (We're just waiting on some confirmation)
• Invitations: Check! (They arrived...again, something I have failed to blog about yet!)
• Wedding Dress: Check! (It's been ordered, and should be here soon!)
• Groom's Clothes: Check! (Now it's just left to decide on the black suit or the grey suit.)
• Bridesmaid's Dresses: Selected, will order soon!
• Wedding Bands: Selected, will order soon!
• Cake: Baker selected, just need to choose a cupcake bakery!

I'm sure there's more, but you get the idea.  The only major piece that we need to make sure we do is to rent all the tables, chairs, and etc.  That's the last big slice that absolutely, 100%, MUST happen or the wedding will be a disaster.

Anything else that isn't done can be done without.  Not that I have any intention of going without all the small things, and details, and everything; I'm just trying to lower my stress level by reminding myself that, yes, all the things that must be done are in process.

Thanksgiving Bridal Shower

As it says on all signs in stores and in all elementary school classrooms this time of year, Thanksgiving is a perfect opportunity to spend time being thoughtful about the blessings and gifts in one’s life.

This Thanksgiving, I spent the few days leading up to the holiday with Chris, his immediate family and his mother’s side of the family in upstate New York.

It was lovely.

I had only been to visit with this part of his family once before, during Christmas two years ago.  Then, we were not yet engaged so because of this and because it was my first time meeting any of Chris’ extended family, I was more nervous and not quite at home (but not because his family was anything but welcoming).

This year, I felt much more comfortable.  What’s more is that his mother coordinated for me a bridal shower the day before Thanksgiving.  All the women – from Chris’ 93-year-old great-grandmother to his 1 ½-year-old cousin – attended a breakfast.  Just the fact that this was something that they all wanted to do and took time during the busy holidays to attend was heart-warming.

The shower had the effect of further facilitating my feeling of becoming part of the family in a very significant way. Something about the process of sitting down, purposefully, with these women and their great caring and warmth kindled in me a great thankfulness to be so lucky.  I am lucky not only in my partner, but in his family who have been thoughtful and welcoming to me.  This trip was only my second time seeing everyone, save for my soon-to-be mother-in-law, but I already felt included.

So, today, as I sit in the airport awaiting the flight that will carry me and Chris toward our way home on this Thanksgiving Day, I am inestimably grateful to be adding so many wonderful folks to my own family tree – folks who will be there to witness our wedding and share our happiness, who share with one another much laughter and love.

Plus, you know, as my bridal shower gift, this is what they got me:

Because, it seems, they get me.

And I’m definitely taking those bad boys dancing very soon…just to break them in before I wear them on the big day.

In all seriousness, though, I am lucky and joyous (and maybe a little teary) to be joining this family and folding them into the concept of my family…not just Chris’.

Another One?

Here in Killeen, Texas - about an hour outside of Austin - it is exactly 100 degrees outside, and approximately 71 degrees indoors.
And why am I here?
In a word: wedding.

Ok, so maybe more words would be helpful: Chris' father got married last night.

Chris and I flew into the great state of Texas Friday afternoon so that we could be here to take part in his father's wedding.
It was lovely.
They had the wedding on the family property (which is mostly like a compound), with about 70 guests and BBQ dinner.

Since we're still in vacation/visiting mode, I cannot write too much, but I've just been reflecting on how many weddings I've been to lately and how many of my friends (like, a million of them!!!) are showing off new engagement rings on Facebook.  As I get older and as I spend more time thinking about them, I have realized how much I love weddings and what they mean to me.

In the past three and a half years, I have watched both my parents get married, one of Chris' get married, my brother's wedding, a close friend, and a couple of other more peripheral people.  I have also had my best friend get engaged, and have perused through at least 50 albums of wedding photos for Facebook friends for either weddings or engagements.  Oh yeah, and  I got engaged :).

I love weddings because they are all about hope, promise, love, and celebration.  It's a time to celebrate not only the couple who are committing themselves to one another, but for friends and family to come together for a purpose, and a joyful one.  Married wedding attendees have an opportunity to reflect upon their own wedding and years of marriage; engaged and single folks get a chance to dream about the future.
It marks an enormous transition in one's life.  It's no wonder it's such a huge and fruitful industry -- no matter what, people will always be getting married.

Watching the wedding last night made me look forward even more to the day just under 9 months hence when I get to go from calling Christopher my fiance - always a temporary title - to calling him my husband - something I will get to do for the rest of our lives.


Congratulations, Chuck and JJ!

E-Party!

First, I want to add a kind of explanation regarding my absence.  You see, I have been meaning to write new blog posts and actually post them, truly.  Lots of things have been happening and I have tons of ideas about what I want to write about and say.......it's just been a crazy-life a Chez Carolynn. So, hopefully I'll be better at being diligent in keeping up so that all 4 people who read this know every detail. (Please note: I am laughing at my own narcissism and shaking my head at my own feeling of needing to apologize for having gone *gasp* TWELVE DAYS ZOMG! without posting about my wedding planning for a wedding that is 10 months away.)

Aaaaaaaanyways.....

My family threw Chris and me (and yes, that's the correct grammar) an engagement party last Saturday.  We invited those who we thought would be able to make it out for the party and tried to keep the guest list manageable.  It was held in my father and step-mother's backyard, with tacos and quesadillas made to order, a chocolate fountain, and a beautiful (although very hot) day.
Chris' mother, stepfather, and brothers all made it out from Hawai'i and New York for the party, which was truly lovely.  Because my family lives in the area, it was easier for them to make it, so I had lots of family and friends there at the party which was excellent.
Here are some highlights:
--Chris was embarrassed by a game we were forced to play by my parents (think "Newlywed Game" style questions)
--We failed miserably at the game....whoops!
--My father and stepmother surprised us with a gift of gorgeous toasting flutes (we weren't registered for any)
--Chocolate from the fountain got all over the place
--Siblings and parents gave speeches
--I completely forgot about my camera after guests started arriving, so I only have photos of the decor.
--The flowers were amazing!
--I hardly saw Chris at all, because we were socializing with different groups at different times
--I feel like I didn't talk much to anyone at all!! (I guess this will be more intense at the wedding!)

There was more, but that's what comes to mind at the moment.
All in all, we had a great afternoon and evening, and it was wonderful to see our families mingling and getting to know one another better.

For those etiquette sticklers: yes, I know that, typically an engagement party is held 1-4 months following the actual engagement and, thus, our party is a little out of line with that, being 14 months post-engagement.  We have our reasons for that being the case, but I don't feel the need to justify it.  It's frustrating, though, that people would be irritated with this 'breach' of tradition as if it were a big deal...because it's not.  I trust and hope that there weren't any invited to the party who chose not to attend for that reason alone.

My Other Sister

So my last - and obviously quite thrilling - post was about my family.
Then I realized I left out some extraordinarily important news!

In 1996, I, along with my family, moved from Missouri out here to California.
Cut to two years later, I have few friends, but I join a Girl Scout Troop.  Here, I met Jessica.  Things started kind of rough, with both of us feeling each other out; she was defending her position as the bossiest among us, and I was the newcomer, trying to find my place among girls who had known each other for a very long time.
Cut two twelve years later and we are best friends, but we behave more like sisters.  That is, we never needed to see or talk to each other every minute of every day because our relationship is such that we're just there for one another in an intangible way.  So she is my sister.
In May 2009, I got engaged.
In December 2009, she got engaged.
Her wedding is June 2011.
My wedding is May 2011.
Cut one more time to last week: I get a phone call from her (a rarity, as neither of us are much for talking on the phone).  She's calling to inform me that she and her beau are moving to back to the area!  This will be the first time since 2003 that we have lived in the same geographical area.
I could not have been more thrilled.
Even better: since she is getting married a scant 5 weeks after we are, and her wedding is set for the SF Bay, as well, we will get to plan our weddings TOGETHER!

Oh!!
One more thing:
She's planned her arrival (by sheer happenstance) to be on the day before or day of my engagement party; that's only a handful of days away at this point!

I cannot wait to have all my sisters - and incidentally, bridesmaids - here: genetic, step-, in-law, and friend.

The Day After: Successes and Failures

First, a failure: liveblogging.  I tried, I really did, but the internet at the hotel wasn't working and when I posted from my phone (even though I'm supposed to be able to do so) it ended up as gibberish.  So, although I'm pretty sure no one really noticed, I feel sheepish; I don't like saying I'll do something and then not following through.

Second, a very important SUCCESS:  It happened; my mother got married yesterday.  All important people showed up (the wedding party, all vendors, and most of the guests), everyone was clothed, fed, and danced.  The ceremony happened, I signed the wedding certificate myself.

While the bottom-line necessities went as needed, there we hiccups along the way:

1. Friday, it took my sister and I (with my delightful fiance driving) more than an hour to drive 17 miles...on the freeway.
2. During this drive, we could not get a hold of my mom, so we had no idea what was going on....so we just kind of did what we supposed we should.
3. We still had many, many errands and tasks to complete Friday evening AND yesterday.
4. My mom's hair and makeup appointments were in another city, and she was gone for more than 4 hours in the middle of the day....without answering her phone.
5. My mom and the third bridesmaid arrived back at the hotel about an hour before we needed to leave for the venue.
6. A surprise cake for the groom's parents in honor of their 50th wedding anniversary was melted in the 85-degree heat.
7. My dress was extremely uncomfortable and the three bridesmaids were all wary of having a wardrobe malfunction in the chestal region. (None happened, though, thank goodness!)
8. Some of the personal touches that the bride and groom wanted to have didn't happen at all.
9. The groom forgot his wedding band (we had a stand in available, though).
10. There wasn't enough lighting for the end of the evening.

Because of all of this, and because of all the frustration that overshadowed some of what I'll list below.  For me, the stress and irritation I had been feeling was so overwhelming at different points over the past two weeks, that I felt relief that the event was happening and then over.  Knowing this makes me sad.  I wanted to enjoy the event with abandon, rather than with this unfortunate sheen laying over it.  

More importantly, though, many things went right:

1. My mother looked beautiful.
2. The groom choked back tears while reciting his vows.
3. The toasts were well-received (I was pretty proud of my short-and-sweet toast, given the amount of time I had to prepare).
4. No nasty scenes happened, despite some close calls.
5. People seemed to have a good time.
6. The food was good.
7. The booze was good.
8. There was lots of leftover booze. (My brother took home four cases of Sierra Nevada, my sister took home two).
9. The flowers were beautiful.
10. I have two new grandparents, who are just lovely (one of whom performed the wedding ceremony).
11. There are bound to be some amazing photos from the beautiful setting.
12. My siblings and I danced our asses off; we're pretty impressive dancers, busting out some cabbage patches and altogether looking a bit like this.
13. The music was good.
14. Mom and her new husband looked very happy.
15. I got to spend time with my former babysitter - the third bridesmaid - which was wonderful.
16. I got to dance with my very own fiance.
17. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for the bride and groom.
18. I got to meet some of my new extended family members.

Altogether, the event itself was and overall success, thankfully.

So, here's to my mother and her new husband:

CONGRATULATIONS MOM AND DAVID!!

Bachelorette

My sister, Sarah, and I have been planning our mother's bachelorette party, and the day finally came!

We picked out a "fairy tale" theme that we hoped the guests - most of whom are near our mother's age - will enjoy the whimsy and fun of such a child-like theme. Especially because, to go with the theme of both "fairy tale" and "bachelorette," my sister and I have gotten a very silly amount of decorations that include dragons, swords, lots of pink, tiaras, and about a hundred other items of silliness.

I really enjoy planning parties. Particularly parties in honor of something or someone in particular - other than myself. In this case, it is both. Planning parties provides me with an opportunity to create something that I hope the guest(s) of honor will enjoy and that will relieve them of stress.

There is something that, for me, is soothing and prideful about selecting silly decorations and deciding on what food and drink to serve.

When the day came, however, it was rather miserable to get everything finished. A series of small, but manageable disasters, not the least of which was the weather - nearly 90-degree heat - in a house where we were cooking and which has no air conditioning. During the getting-ready that morning and afternoon (guests were scheduled to arrive at 6pm) we had difficulties with the food prep, with guests' choices, with retrieving needed items, moving furniture, dropping heavy bottles on my toe, among other things. In part, I underestimated how long things would take, and I had let it slide about what needed to get done the night before.

We also had fewer guests attend than who had RSVP'd and some guests who stayed for a shorter amount of time than I had expected. Wanting to have provided my mother with an enjoyable party, I felt responsible for this, somehow (even though some people couldn't make it due to illness and other perfectly acceptable reasons for not coming to a party...some peoples' reasons I didn't quite understand).

At the end of the night, however, everyone had eaten and drank their fill of appetizers, fruit, candy, wine, champagne, and beer. They also seemed to have a blast. We played games, got a little silly and risque, made everyone sing karaoke on my new karaoke machine.

Ultimately, it turned out well, even though it definitely did not turn out like I wanted.

My mom tells me that she had a great time and was thankful for what my sister and I had given her (and yes, my sister did help -- I did the preponderance of the planning, but she was great about doing what I asked of her).

Now it's my job to believe my mom and be glad that she is happy...especially about marrying her fiance in less than 10 days. (WOW! 10 days!!).

Free Wedding Organizer

Me!

Well, not just for anyone, but I'm definitely serving that function for my mom.

She and my sister came over on Sunday and we spend several hours planning and trying to get things done.

There are now 66 days until the wedding and a great many things on the to-do list that still need to be to-done. It doesn't help the planning process that my mom's computer was still acting kinda hinky, so she doesn't use it hardly at all.

So anyways, I went over last night to deliver the phone charger she'd left at my place on Sunday and I offered to take on more responsibilities as her acting maid of honor (the official maid of honor is actually my former babysitter and she does not live here, so I'm standing in for things like planning and execution).

It's kind of nice to see the later stages of planning and how that all goes, even before the big day, but it sure is frustrating to have really and truly no control. I like control. Especially when it comes to planning and follow-through. These are my strengths....and I am not within my bounds to employ them much at the moment.

In good news on that front, many things have been decided and executed, including the fact that my sister and I now officially have our bridesmaids dresses (and I have my shoes), although both of our dresses need some tailoring, which is something we must do, and soon.

We have also made some decisions regarding the bachelorette party, which will include both karaoke and sushi...both of which are things I love. So, yay! (More on that at another time.)

Altogether, it seems like I'm not just organizing the to-do list, but also the other people involved (my sister, mom, and her fiance).

I wanted to post about doing all this, but now I feel that what I've written is disjointed and poorly organized (noting the irony that I've just listed organization as my strength at the same time as nothing that I'm not doing it so well right now....). But I'll leave it since I feel that it reflects my state of mind.

I'm exhausted.

I could sleep for a very, very long time right now.

At this moment my eyes are drooping, but I must remain awake to complete my responsibilities for the day.

For my Mother

Lately, as it may be evident, I haven't been doing much wedding planning...for myself anyways.

School has ramped up and I have been spending a lot of time on my volunteer work and in self-reflection.

I have also been helping my mom work on her wedding plans...especially because her wedding is coming up much more quickly: June 26th. I also have a lot of bridesmaid duties, including planning the Bachelorette party.

Because of my dad's wedding a few years ago, my brother's wedding this past August, a close friend's wedding the day before my brother's, my best friend who is planning her wedding for a few weeks following mine, and my mother's wedding, I've had a lot of close contact with wedding lately. It's fascinating to build these ideas and notice how people approach things differently - and all of the wedding that have already happened have been lovely and beautiful.

Also, since my mom's wedding is following her engagement shortly, there's a lot to do in the next 80 days. I plan to focus on her, for the most part, for all these reasons, but I'm also going to be sharing some of that experience here, even though it's not our wedding I'm planning for. I suppose it's a learning experience and I'm eager to share.

To start, I'm helping keep my mom and her fiance on track, time-wise, which is really important since they have so little time left. I visited last night and helped her choose her shoes and get them ordered. I also helped her decide on what tasks she was going to tackle over this coming weekend, which is fun.

I like organizing.

Now, it's time to work more on the Bachelorette Party -- planning what's going to happen and where.

Engagement Party...Parties?

I haven't mentioned much about Chris and his plans as yet, but it has become clear that Chris will be completing the Pacific Crest Trail - a 5-6 month hike from Mexico into Canada - during this summer. He plans to leave for this adventure in early May, as soon after his birthday (May 1st) as possible.

This had led us to deciding to adjust the date for our formal, official, big engagement party from Memorial Day weekend, and want to have it earlier in May.

While no one has had a problem with this proposition, they have brought up some good points and some convincing arguments for having the party when Chris returns from the hike, which would be in early October, most likely.

On the one hand, if we waited until October, it would be warmer than early May (possibly), the addition on my dad's house (where the party will be held) will be finished and the yard re-planted following the construction, and it allows more time for possible out-of-towners to join us.

On the other hand, May is much, much sooner and we have been engaged for almost a year already, I'm not really sure that it will be warmer in October, many friends may be moving away from the area and thus unable to attend in October, and I feel like having the engagement party in October and then getting married the following May feels kind of scrunched.

So.

A suggestion appears:

Have a birthday/going-away party for Chris on May 1st AND call it also an engagement party - for Chris' and my friends, particularly - and then have a SECOND engagement party when Chris returns and invite a larger group of people to that party.

Again, a weighing of options ensues.

One hand - I have already had a pseudo-engagement party immediately following the engagement itself and I feel like having three engagement parties (thrown by the same people, no less) is a bit greedy and tacky.

But I do like parties.

Even more, I like parties in my honor.

But still....greedy.

Right?

AND

I kind of want the "real" party sooner.

But I don't know.

Even better?

I definitely need to decide soon because the closer we get to the potential party date, the more quickly I need to make a decision.

I have NO idea what I should do.

Anyone want to offer suggestions?