One Week!

So now there is just one scant week before the wedding.
It's amazing.

The wedding is so close now that I can taste it.  I am down to my last days before the wedding, and in good news I am completely finished both with my practicum and with my online coaching class!  This means that, for the next week, my attentions are entirely focused on the wedding and preparation, which is definitely a good thing.

With just one week left, most of the major wedding preparations are complete and now it is a matter of finalization and tying up of loose ends.  We had a conversation with the caterer yesterday to finalize rentals and numbers, we completed the placement of our cupcake order, we have a reasonably good seating chart done, my dress has been brought in from the shop, and lots of other checks on the list.

For me, getting the major things nailed down in a simple fashion is the easiest kind of thing to do; I am definitely more adept at creating the structure and skeleton for things....refinement and details are more difficult for me, I find that I get irritated and often bored if I over-focus on the details of something.  This is something I have a tendency to do.  I know that I do better on assignments if I either: (1) send in a first draft with only a cursory review and edit, OR (2) really, really, really spend a lot of time reviewing and re-reading and editing a paper.

For the wedding, it's tempting because there are so many details to potentially review and refine to go with door #1....which will be fine for something (e.g., the cupcakes) but not so much for other things (e.g., the seating chart).  There are so many moving parts to the wedding that I am still trying to strike the balance of paying enough attention to the details without feeling overwhelmed by them.

I just need to trust myself that it will all get done as much as it needs to and, if it doesn't by the time the wedding actually rolls around, then someone else will take care of it OR it wasn't that important in the first place.

After the other night, I haven't had any panicky feelings, but I definitely float between anxiety and calm, although the anxiety is often short-lived and easily allayed.

Wish me luck!!!!

Honeymooners

Among the many questions that people ask when we talk about the wedding is about the honeymoon that Christopher and I will take.

Unfortunately, I have rarely had a satisfactory answer.
That is because the plans, by necessity, have been flexible.

Because of his job, Chris is not able to take off much time in a reliable fashion.  That is, his schedule for the month of May has his working Wednesday-Sunday with his days off Monday and Tuesday.  He requested to use vacation days (the whole two that he gets to last him until October) for the day of the wedding and the day after (Saturday and Sunday).  He only got Saturday off via this request.  He also got an unpaid day off on the Wednesday after the wedding.

Thus, as of right now, Christopher is working the day before the wedding, the day after, has the day off for the wedding itself and has Mon-Tues-Weds off after the wedding.

He has requested that his coworkers agree to work his shifts for the 20th and 22nd (Friday and Sunday), and also for the full week+ following his days off.
He will be doing everything that he can to get all the time off that he can, but depending on the factor of time our honeymoon will be one of three options:

1. A week or more using his uncle's vacation home in the Florida Keys
2. A few days in San Diego
3. A few days in Carmel-by-the-Sea/Monterey

Right now, though, I am less concerned about whether or not we're able to take the week+ in Florida, but more so that Chris not be scheduled to work at 5am the day after we get married....or be scheduled to work until 12pm on the day of our rehearsal.

Wish him luck!

Someone Must Be To Blame

Someone must be to blame for hitting my PANIC! button.

Because, remember when I was talking all about how I am totally calm?  Yeah.
Gone.
Like, poof, into thin air.

This blog post will probably be listed as "published" at something like 2:00 am PST.  I started writing just before 1:30 am PST.

Now, not to say that I am freaking out about details that need to get done or something tragical happening....mostly, I have sneaking feelings of impending doom and my thoughts are racing like they're in the final stretch going for Olympic Gold.

I jump topics like....well, all analogies coming to mind at this moment are a bit inappropriate...suffice to say it is a lot!  I am thinking about: the classwork that is due on Friday (four separate projects, each of which involve writing at minimum 5 double-spaced pages of pure text), what we are going to do for our honeymoon, how the apartment is a mess, the outstanding RSVP's, where we are going to find the apartment for LA, that maybe I should be working out more since the wedding is so close, how long am I going to have to stay at La Familia on Thursday to finish paperwork, when I am going to fit anything else in, how I have a party on Saturday, about coordinating flights for my officiant, my guilt over not having worked on my vows hardly at all, the upcoming move and the required organization, Chris' health, how little food we have in the apartment right now, how good Taco Bell sounds right now, that I should maybe lay off the salt until the wedding to avoid bloat, and how it would be nice to finish the dishes but that would probably be too loud and wake Chris...........
The list goes on.
And on.
And on.

You get the idea.
It's tremendous.

All with this sinking, nagging feeling that, even with every pot I have my finger in at the moment (because everything listed above will be done in time and at least adequately), I am missing something vital.

This rigamarole, this tirade in my mind is what has me up at 2:00am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning when I have scheduled myself for a 9:00am yoga class.

Now, before I click off here and hit the publish button, it would be unfair of me not to acknowledge that this is not the only time in my life where anxiety has taken sleep from my grasp.

Even as I prepare to finish this post, I took a look around the view of the apartment from my perch at my desk to see what other task I can tackle before attempting to sleep.

The Bridezilla Conundrum

So it seems now that the time has arrived wherein people are expecting that the Bride (that is, me) is going Crazy preparing for the wedding.  Which is understandable given that: (1) popular culture tells us that the Crazy of the Bride ramps up and up and up as the wedding gets closer and closer and closer, (2) the wedding is now 16 days away, (3) I am typically deal with stress by dipping into my deep well of anxiety, and (4) there have been a lot of stresses with the wedding previously.

I am, however, shockingly cool, calm, and collected.
Yes, there are a few is a lot is is still tons left to do before the big day, but I am feeling that all of this is well in-hand.  Partly, this may be because while, previously, there had been some...shall we say challenges?....with personalities involved in the wedding, those seem to have been sufficiently resolved.  Well, at least they have been resolved enough that I don't have to deal with them.

It also helps that we have a better head-count for the wedding (only 32 people have not yet RSVP'd - and yes that is only since two days ago that number was more like 50), and that I had my third and final dress fitting on Tuesday.

Another factor is that I am approaching my final days working at my practicum placement; I am going in later this morning and after that I have two days of practicum left, which will consist of training meetings and paperwork - no more client meetings.  That leaves me with the remainder of my time to work and to work on the wedding.  That's a full week with the wedding as my primary task.

I think also that because I did begin grappling with a lot of the emotions about the wedding well ahead of time, I am able to focus on the excitement.  I have butterflies of excitement, not of impending disaster.  I am feeling free and clear of so much of the nasty, heavy anxiety that generally plagues my world.

I am completely ready to be present and conscious for my wedding day, so that I can experience all the wonders and joys of the entire day.

THIRTY DAYS!

That's ONE MONTH.

That's how much time is left until the wedding.

How did that happen?

I may or may not be having mini-panics thinking about what's left to do.....or, you know, just worrying about what's left to do that I haven't even realized needs doing - because I'm like that.

Ack!!!

DIY Frustration

I know this isn't much of a post, but I've been trying to get things done lately re: the wedding including making things happen on the many DIY projects I've set for myself.

One of these projects is decorating a display stand for the cupcakes.  With the help of an awesome crafty friend of mine - Nicole - we started the project and, when I tried to continue it myself, I found that I was getting extremely frustrated with it not coming out how I wanted it to, and having difficulty making adjustments.  When I realized that I was getting seriously irritated with the cardboard, glitter, hot glue, and ribbon itself, I decided that I need to step away.  At that point, it wasn't worth the frustration and, in the interest of protecting my sanity, I realized that I need to go back to the drawing board on this one and simply scrap the current plan for a new one.

Thankfully, I - using Nicole's know-how and ideas -came up with something in the same vein and that seemed more manageable given my now-lowered threshold of patience.

Once I get that going, I'll add a post on it, I'm sure.

I think I have learned the lesson now that, when it comes to crafting and DIY, things that get complicated are not my forte; I'm definitely better at things that are simple and virtually fool-proof....I simply do not have the make-up for much more than what I've posted previously.  I mean, I like being creative, but smaller/simpler projects definitely satisfy my crafting hankering and that's enough for me.

Bachelorette Weekend!

When I talked to my maid of honor - also my little sister - about what I would like for my bachelorette, we discussed primarily that I liked the idea of doing an inexpensive weekend getaway. Only she and one other bridesmaid could make the trip, so we adjusted the plans accordingly.
With that in mind, we made plans for a weekend in Reno.  Yes, not the most exciting of all places, but close enough to drive and generally inexpensive with enough fun things to do that those activities plus good company ought to make for an enjoyable weekend.

Well.
This trip was supposed to take place this past weekend.
I don't know who saw the weather reports, but on Thursday night I got text messages from my sister, my dad, and my step-mom who had all noted the truly awful weather hitting the Sierra-Nevadas.
This weather was so intense that they closed the roads from the Bay to Reno.
Closed them.
As in, shut down, no one is getting through here.

Many curse words were awash in my brain.
What were we going to do now?

Some ideas surfaced, none of them sounding really all that great
.....
until....
I remembered that, since Chris works for Southwest Airlines, we can get these things called Buddy Passes (a limited number) so that others can fly on standby for free.  After talking to Chris, I decided that I wanted to use these passes for my bridesmaids and fly somewhere.

Where?
Glad you asked.
Las Vegas!

And with that, we were off and running.  We changed all the plans, notified people, adjusted reservations, checked flights and went through the process of completely flipping the trip upside down because, even though both places are in Nevada, the planning and prep for trips to Vegas are definitely not the same as for Reno.

Once everything was in place (with the help of many people!!!), Friday afternoon all three of us made our ways to the airports - myself and one BM to Oakland, the other to San Francisco.  We all, very thankfully, were able to make our flights and we landed together in Las Vegas at nearly the same time.

So far our trip was off to a great start.
I don't want to detail all of our shenanigans here, only partly because that would take to long, but suffice to say we had ourselves lots of fun.

We walked (a lot!!), drank, talked, ate, socialized, and gambled.
I also had some really lovely and meaningful conversations with the BMs, and got to reconnect with them both on several levels.
We even watched the lights go out on the Strip on Saturday night from 8:30 to 9:30, in honor of Earth Hour.  I videoed it, too.

The only truly difficult part of the trip was coming home.
Remember how those Buddy Passes mean that you fly stand-by?
Well, trying to leave Las Vegas on a Sunday afternoon is apparently a very bad idea.
We arrived at the airport at about 1:00pm.
We jumped from gate to gate trying to make flights (all of us with sore feet, some of us with more blisters and injuries than others).
Then, after 9pm we were waiting on the very. last. flight. home.  The employees told us that I was at the top of the list, and my BM's were #s 3 and 4 to get on the plane.
I made a strategic decision to go to San Diego instead - since there were seats on those flights and since I was going the next day anyways (more on that later) - hoping that having me off the list would mean that my BM's chances of getting on that flight were improved.

I moved to the gate for my new flight to San Diego (after calling an old friend who graciously agreed to pick me up and give me a place to crash for the night!!!) and waited.  I got a boarding pass right away (meaning that I was almost-guaranteed to get a seat).

When I was on the jetway, I got a text message from one of my BM's saying that she got on the flight....but that the second BM hadn't gotten on yet.  My heart sang and then sank.  I felt like I was abandoning them and I hoped against all hope and reason that they would both get on that plane and get to be home that night.

I spent my flight in an anxious sweat for my compatriot.
When I landed I got good news: both BM's got on the flight and made it home!

So.
In all, it was a really great trip and I'm soooooo happy we went.
Next time, though, we're trying for the very first flight out!

Sidebar: Internship Round II

As I noted before, I have been going through a very challenging process of securing an internship for next year so that I might (finally!!!) graduate.

This morning was the match day for round two for the national system meaning that, this morning at 7am I received an email. That email contained the news of whether or not I was matched to an internship placement and, if I was, where I would be going.

The result:

I matched to the Institute for Multicultural Counseling and Education Services (or IMCES)
in Los Angeles, California.

I start on July 1st.



Now, to be quite honest I was unsure of this placement when I interviewed there and, overall, including placements that I was still eligible/up for using the California system (a few of which I was rather excited about) but could not include since the California and national systems are separate.  There was also the issue of the fact that I believe that one of my interviewers did not like me whatsoever.

Still.
I matched there.
It's a solid placement that will get me to graduation and it pays.

I should get a strong experience and develop as a clinician during my time with IMCES.

So.
While I am adjusting emotionally, I am also considering the pragmatics, which are numerous including deciding on where to live.  But, for now, I am going to do my best to be relieved and happy that I have found a placement that will, at the very, very least, suffice for one year.

Absence Explained

I feel like every few days or weeks I go through spurts of posting lots and then not posting at all for days.
I think this is partly a good insight into the tumultuousness of my life at the current moment.

Lately, it's about the interviewing process for an internship.  At this time I do not yet have an internship, and the earliest I could find out as of now is March 28th.  After that, if I don't match then the next date is April 8th.  It's all up in the air, and the most challenging part is the interviewing process.

Between the dates of March 7th and March 23rd, my calendar tells me that I have had/have scheduled nine interviews...over 13 business days.  I am flying to LA twice next week for interviews.

It 

is 

exhausting.

The process is draining and the lack of security in terms of the future is anxiety-provoking.  It makes me search for comfort and moments to let go; it makes me tired and sucks all of my remaining motivation completely out of me.  As such, I have been slow at getting to lots of wedding-related projects and even more, lacking the motivation and mental energy to do anything more than the bare minimum in many areas.

Was that a rant?
I'm not sure, but it isn't meant to be....it's simply the fact of my life at the moment and how its affecting me and my wedding-preparation.

Three Months

The countdown continues.

It's hard to believe that there are only three months remaining until the wedding.

I suppose I say that every time a new benchmark rolls around.
And yet, it feels true.  Every time.

The ball keeps rolling faster and faster.
As the days tick past, my excitement grows....as does my knowledge of the many, many things left on the checklists and to-do lists.

Hotel Rooms

We finally - after much ado, many phone calls, and emails - have reserved a block of rooms at a hotel where the wedding guests may choose to stay the nights before and after the wedding.

This whole process was much more trying that I ever would have guessed and required the intervention of an event-planning professional in order to make sure that we got what we needed and that we weren't getting screwed over in the process.

To cut to the chase, we've selected:
Hampton Inn and Suites Suisun City Waterfront

I went back and forth with family, wedding planner, and the hotel to determine a group rate.  Our coordinator initially hemmed and hawed and made a huge deal out of giving us a reasonable group rate...trying to convince us that this property was so highly desirable that they would sell-out the rooms the weekend of the wedding...even without our help.

Turns out, also, that the woman who we had met and coordinated with initially left the property for a different hotel in the Hilton sphere....without telling us!  And without passing along our information to the woman taking over her job.

Although I was sincerely unimpressed with the way our group was handled, they did agree to hand out the Out-of-Towner Bags without a surcharge (apparently a surcharge of $1-$3 per bag is the norm).

Now, finally, our friends and family have a designated place to stay the night before and/or the night of the wedding.  In order to get the group rate, however, one must call the hotel and mention our wedding.

Action Returns: Candy Buffet Bags

A lot has been going on in my life over the past month or two aside from the wedding planning piece.  I had a family member pass away, another get very close, I am *thisclose* to being finished with my dissertation, and I have been managing my internship application extravaganza.
This last piece is the most stressful because the quality, location, and type of internship I get for next year will make a very big impact on my future career as well as Chris' and my lives.  It's too complicated to try and explain here, really, but suffice to say, if things go the best they can (from what's possible now) either (1) we will be moving across the country to Miami OR (2) we won't be living together because I'll move to either Fresno or Merced for the duration of the internship year.  Plus, the nature of this stage of my program leave me feeling worthless, powerless, and downtrodden.

I have been having an extraordinary amount of feelings lately.

This has also resulted in my not-quite-panic-mode response: sluggishness. I'm also used to having so much more of a "to-do" list on my plate with exams and papers and applications and what-have-you that I got into the habit of only attacking things on that list that were emergencies. Notice that my blogging has been sporadic - that, too, is part and parcel.

Pour this all in a blender and you get the version of me who has been feeling crappy and stressed out but without the benefit of getting nearly as much done as I could or as I would like to.

But, in a positive development, today my motivational and action-oriented bone returned to me.
Now, that's not to say that I got tons done, but I got a respectably reasonable amount done.

Case in point, I did this today:

These are the bags that will be placed out for use in conjunction with the candy buffet at our wedding, which will be our favors.  I bought the small glassine bags quite a while ago (after much internal debate about size and color).  After their arrival, I began experimenting with how I wanted to personalize them.  I decided on stamping them, and then played around. Chris offered his preference that we use white ink (he thinks it looks classier than the other color options).
So, about two months ago (or not, I don't remember these things anymore), I stamped the fronts of the bags in waves with this stamp:

Then, just a week or so ago, I took them back out from their temporary storage placement (but were always in the front of my mind since it's such a simple, easily-completed task) and started stamping the back with our custom logo stamp. I did the first few dozen in waves.
This morning I decided that I would finish it,finish them all.
I did.

The sense of pride in completing this simple task was alarming.  All I did was finish stamping 250-ish bags, going back and forth with my hands in repetitive motions for something like an hour, maybe two, while watching television.

Placing those bags in Ziplocks and pressing the air out while sealing the containing bags, I had a rare sense of progress.  It gives me hope that, instead of just obsessing about everything left to do, I will actually do them and ultimately spend less time on each task.

Hiatus

I know it's been a little while since I've posted, and in large part, recently, it has been due to some unfortunate family circumstances and to my general hiatus on wedding planning and wedding-related obsessive thoughts.  I am also likely going to be continuing the pause on posts through the holidays, as I get more focused on spending time with my family and enjoying this time of year.

Regarding the unfortunate family circumstances, I am sad to share that my paternal grandfather passed away very recently.  He had been in poor health for a while and then more recently, he broke his hip and was unable to have surgery for it due to his generally poor health status.  After being in the hospital for about a week and a half, his condition deteriorated and, ultimately, my family chose to take him off life support, per my grandfather's previously-stated wishes.  So, just a little over a week ago, my grandfather passed away surrounded by his wife, children, and grandchildren.  I went to Florida, where that part of my family lives, and was there for about a week participating in services and spending some healing time with my family.

I know that, typically, my posts are almost exclusively wedding-related and this post may seem more directly personal.  What I came to realize, though, during my grieving process - one which is ongoing and very challenging - is that his passing is very impactful on the wedding.  My grandfather would not have missed my wedding for the world; there is no question that he would have been there, would have been telling stories, and creating new ones for his descendants to tell with laughter.

When my wedding day comes,  I will feel his loss poignantly.  While I would not characterize my relationship with him as particularly close, he was still my grandpa and my first family member to pass away (excluding my great-grandmother when I was very young and who I had only met a handful of times).  I have been thinking about how unfair it was for him to go so close to the wedding and how I will honor him now that he cannot be there with us.

Re-reading what I have written thus far, I realize that my thoughts are not particularly well-organized or -written...and I'm choosing not to change that because it reflects how I have been thinking about how I have been feeling.

In the end, what I really mean is that I love him, he will be missed, and I will feel his absence on the day I wed.

I Love to Eat, Eat, Eat

First, I want to contextualize the title of this post.  I was pondering the upcoming (now passed) catering tasting a couple of days ago and I started hearing this song - which hearkens back to my childhood - in my head:

I like to eat, eat, eat

Apples and bananas.

I like to eat, eat, eat

Apples and bananas.

I like to oat, oat, oat

Oh-pples and banonos.

I like to oat, oat, oat

Oh-pples and banonos.

I like to ite, ite, ite

I-pples and banainais.

I like to ite, ite, ite

I-pples and banainais.

I couldn't get it out of my head, so now it's my post title.  I also want to add that it bugs me that, in the first verse, the pronunciation of 'apples' and 'bananas' is normal, despite the fact this defies the rule of vowel-matching necessary for the remaining verses.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyways.

I had the tasting with the caterer!!

And my dad, and his wife, and my mom, and her husband.  Oh yeah, and Chris.  (That guy again.  Ugh.)

And it was....anticlimactic...even for what it is.  I ended up being frustrated by two things: (1) The person we have been working with - and the person in charge - was not there, despite having confirmed the event (but not specifically his presence) by email only hours before, and (2) we were only served the appetizers, which were from the standard catering menu...and that was all - none of our custom dishes were made for us, which was kind of the point.

*Deep, vociferous sigh*

On the good side, we picked our appetizers and there is one in particular that is super-perfect for our menu and super delicious.
Also, my family were very supportive and upbeat about the missteps.

It's also important for us to remember that, in this case, with this vendor, we've seen the final product and have a history with the company that is all positive....the only unfortunate things are what has been happening with our catering meetings.  Which sucks, because that's not fun, but doesn't make me worry in the way I would in most other circumstances.

Now, I'm finding myself feeling frustrating the more I write and wanting to erase the memory of the irritating parts of the tasting and just focus on the fact that now we'll be going back again for more free food and free drinks (yes, they served us -- ALL of us - complimentary beverages throughout the tasting, and even while we were waiting).

Let's keep our fingers crossed that it gets better in this vein.

Free Wedding Graphics and Templates

Last night, I was having difficulty sleeping; I was ruminating heavily on the wedding and its details.
Naturally, I jumped onto my computer and began working on wedding stuff.
In the process, I came across a wedding website that I haven't perused before: www.theweddingchicks.com
Among their items, they had some free, customizable, downloadable graphics for the wedding.

Here's some of what I made:

Their templates can be customized by color and by some words.   You fill in what you want and they email you the product in .png format.  The templates can be found directly here.

Hella cute, right?

Now I Lay Me Down

So who knew that finding a place for our myriad out-of-town guests to stay for a reasonable price was so difficult?!??!
I certainly didn't, until now.

Chris and I went to visit the Hampton Inn & Suites in Suisun City (a scant 4 miles to our venue) to view all the rooms, check out the premises, and make a decision about whether or not to commit to having our guests stay there.
That part went fine; the hotel is very new (not even open a year yet) and modern.  The amenities are good (pool, free wireless, free breakfast, and a fitness room) and the service personnel were friendly.

The problem came when we got down to some numbers.
And it wasn't entirely a 'problem' it was just....confusing.
See, I'm not a business person.
I'm not an event planner.
I'm not a hotelier.
I'm a clinical psychology graduate student.

We sat down to hammer out additional questions and I'm trying to keep my cool and see what we can do to make sure we're getting the absolute best price and deal possible since everything I read tells me all about how much people gouge brides and grooms when they're planning things for weddings.
Hard as I tried, I had difficulty understanding what exactly their policies are regarding reserving blocks of rooms.  I want to have enough rooms that everyone who needs one gets one, but I don't want to overbook by so much that I end up having to shell out my own hard-earned cash for rooms that will sit empty.

They wanted me to tell them how many rooms I wanted, and of what type they were.  That's a toughie.  We've got a 150-person guest list.  About 75% are out of towners, which means about 100 people who'll need a place to stay.  Well, how many people will put 4 in a room?  And how many people will stay with a friend? And how many non-out-of-towners will want to stay here anyways so that they don't have to deal with driving the hour+ home depending on where, generally, they live in the Bay Area.  How many family people who are military service members might want to stay on nearby Travis Air Force Base at a much lower rate?
And to qualify for the group rate, people must book 2 months before the wedding...which means we need to send our invitations much earlier than previously planned.

These questions and more made my head spin.
Then comes the questions I actually asked and got no satisfactory response to: (1) How much room do I have to change my mind/numbers after the contract is signed? [The contract must be signed in the next 6 weeks, btw.], (2) Why can't I get the meeting room for the rehearsal dinner comp'd if half the people in the hotel are solely there because of me?, (3) Do I have to split it up according to room type?, (4) What's the deal with people using their military rate?

I kept getting all these caveats and some "poor me" business from the lady who showed us everything, playing up how this is as low as she can go and how I'm getting such a good deal.

I'm not so sure I'm impressed by the deal, but it's hard to tell.

I just want a place for Chris and I to stay the night of the wedding and a place for our guests to stay that is close to the wedding and reasonably priced.

I do not want to get taken for a ride just because we're a wedding and not a family reunion.3

This is the kind of wedding chore I do NOT enjoy.  Blech.

Well, We Gotta Eat

If you're really smart, I bet you figured out from the title that this blog post is going to be about the food at the wedding.  And it is.  Subtlety is not my forte.

Chris and I went over to Girasole restaurant last night to have a meeting with the restaurant's owner, Skip, who is also owner of the catering company: A Pampered Palate.  We chose to meet with him for a few reasons: (1) the restaurant is less than a mile from the home I lived in during middle and high schools, so we'd eaten there a few times, (2) I always liked the food there, (3) my brother had his rehearsal dinner there last year, and (4) they catered my mom's wedding and did a great job -- in fact, Chris and I went with my mom and her then-fiance to their food tasting and had spoken briefly with Skip about our own wedding and the possibilities, including a cutsom BBQ-style menu.
So, with all that to back it up, it wasn't difficult to decide on them as a clear front-runner and likely final decision. 

Over the past several weeks, I had been trying to get a hold of them to schedule a meeting to no avail.  After three or four emails and no response, I called and left a voicemail on a Saturday.  Sunday afternoon, Skip called me.  We scheduled our meeting for yesterday, and Skip asked me to email him to confirm the time and date, which I did.  He also said that, instead of doing a tasting like he would typically do, we would need to meet first since Chris and I are asking for a custom menu.

Good on our word, Chris and I arrived at the restaurant last night at 5:30, per my agreement with Skip.  The hostess seated us graciously. 
Five minutes later, the hostess came back: "Skip would like to speak with one of you for a moment." 
I got up and got on the phone and proceeded to have a conversation with Skip. 
A conversation in which I felt as if he thought I was some foolish, irresponsible person inconveniencing him by having the gall to show up to the appointment he made with me....and on time, too!  He even asked me, "why aren't we doing a tasting?"  as if that were my idea.  At the end of the conversation, he said he would be there in 20 minutes.  This was said no later than 5:40.

The hostess returned to our table with an appetizer (delicious) and a glass of white wine for me.
I checked my phone for the time.  6:10.
Chris and I decided to leave at 6:15 if he did not show up.

Needless to say, Chris and I were extraordinarily irritated.  The entire procedure was not indicating to us that this guy really wanted us to spend several thousands of dollars on his services.

He arrived at 6:13.
Nick of time.

When he sat down, he began the conversation with a lukewarm apology and a few excuses.  Typically, if someone is late and apologizes for the tardiness, I will respond with "It's alright," or "Don't worry about it."  Not then.  Hells to the no.  This was serious lateness and unprofessional behavior.

I reminded him of who I am, that we'd spoken via phone, that I had emailed him confirming the time per his request at the email address he'd given me at that moment, that we had met previously and discussed what we were looking for.
It was only after several minutes of asking questions that he seemed to understand and remember who we were and that, perhaps, we were responsible, kind, and reasonable potential customers.

Once we got rolling with our ideas about the food itself and what we were looking for, things went very well.  He had some great ideas, listened to ours, made suggestions, and was overall very flexible considering that we were essentially asking for an entirely new menu.  He even brought his head chef from the kitchen to consult with us about his ideas and some options (including a roasted vegetable dish with tomatoes, red onions, and cactus...yeah!  cactus!).

He asked us about the beverage package we wanted...and suggested that we bring our own water, soda, beer, and wine and have his bartender serve it (at the cost of only the bartender's wages).  He told us, flat-out, that he would be glad to provide whatever drink we wanted, but that we would save tons of money by bringing the drinks ourselves.

Near the end of the meeting, he wrote up a cost proposal that was very reasonable considering what we were asking for and what the package contained.  We ended up with a list of brand new things to try that will be brought out at the tasting for us to make some decisions.  The list of potential menu items fits with our upscale BBQ idea and we ended up very excited about the food and somewhat mollified about the whole tardiness and feelings of being unimportant.

Just before he left, he had the hostess bring out two menus and encouraged us to order off of it, which we did, taking his "I might as well feed you," as an indication that it would be complimentary.

We ordered and Skip left with more apologies all around - this time more sincere-sounding. 
The food arrived, we ate it (super-duper delicious!), and the hostess informed us that all of our food (and my three glasses of wine) were "taken care of." 
My thought at this? "They had damned well better be!"

This morning, I found that Skip had returned my email and confirmed the date (in early October) we had set for the tasting along with what we would be trying.

At this point, Chris and I are still most likely going to be going with this company for the catering despite the exceptionally rocky start.  There will definitely be an update after the tasting, but in the meantime we are very much open to other options - particularly ones that are located closer to the actual venue.

Phew! 

The Day After: Successes and Failures

First, a failure: liveblogging.  I tried, I really did, but the internet at the hotel wasn't working and when I posted from my phone (even though I'm supposed to be able to do so) it ended up as gibberish.  So, although I'm pretty sure no one really noticed, I feel sheepish; I don't like saying I'll do something and then not following through.

Second, a very important SUCCESS:  It happened; my mother got married yesterday.  All important people showed up (the wedding party, all vendors, and most of the guests), everyone was clothed, fed, and danced.  The ceremony happened, I signed the wedding certificate myself.

While the bottom-line necessities went as needed, there we hiccups along the way:

1. Friday, it took my sister and I (with my delightful fiance driving) more than an hour to drive 17 miles...on the freeway.
2. During this drive, we could not get a hold of my mom, so we had no idea what was going on....so we just kind of did what we supposed we should.
3. We still had many, many errands and tasks to complete Friday evening AND yesterday.
4. My mom's hair and makeup appointments were in another city, and she was gone for more than 4 hours in the middle of the day....without answering her phone.
5. My mom and the third bridesmaid arrived back at the hotel about an hour before we needed to leave for the venue.
6. A surprise cake for the groom's parents in honor of their 50th wedding anniversary was melted in the 85-degree heat.
7. My dress was extremely uncomfortable and the three bridesmaids were all wary of having a wardrobe malfunction in the chestal region. (None happened, though, thank goodness!)
8. Some of the personal touches that the bride and groom wanted to have didn't happen at all.
9. The groom forgot his wedding band (we had a stand in available, though).
10. There wasn't enough lighting for the end of the evening.

Because of all of this, and because of all the frustration that overshadowed some of what I'll list below.  For me, the stress and irritation I had been feeling was so overwhelming at different points over the past two weeks, that I felt relief that the event was happening and then over.  Knowing this makes me sad.  I wanted to enjoy the event with abandon, rather than with this unfortunate sheen laying over it.  

More importantly, though, many things went right:

1. My mother looked beautiful.
2. The groom choked back tears while reciting his vows.
3. The toasts were well-received (I was pretty proud of my short-and-sweet toast, given the amount of time I had to prepare).
4. No nasty scenes happened, despite some close calls.
5. People seemed to have a good time.
6. The food was good.
7. The booze was good.
8. There was lots of leftover booze. (My brother took home four cases of Sierra Nevada, my sister took home two).
9. The flowers were beautiful.
10. I have two new grandparents, who are just lovely (one of whom performed the wedding ceremony).
11. There are bound to be some amazing photos from the beautiful setting.
12. My siblings and I danced our asses off; we're pretty impressive dancers, busting out some cabbage patches and altogether looking a bit like this.
13. The music was good.
14. Mom and her new husband looked very happy.
15. I got to spend time with my former babysitter - the third bridesmaid - which was wonderful.
16. I got to dance with my very own fiance.
17. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for the bride and groom.
18. I got to meet some of my new extended family members.

Altogether, the event itself was and overall success, thankfully.

So, here's to my mother and her new husband:

CONGRATULATIONS MOM AND DAVID!!

Promoted?

MOM'S WEDDING IS TOMORROW!

Written yesterday (Thursday, 6/24) at 1:00pm:

Today makes me feel like I could definitely make a career out of being a wedding coordinator or fashion stylist. So far, I have worked on making the escort cards and table cards, been to Macy's to pull options for mom's reception dress, and am currently in search of a bra the will not only fit properly but actually do what I neeed it to for this event.

Cut to the next morning and I haven't even been able to finish the above blog entry.

I don't want to try and explain everything at this moment, while I sit in my car waiting for the doors on the building for my practicum to be unlocked - it's not yet 7:30am.

About yesterday, suffice to say I nearly cried in a Nordstrom's dressing room as yet another bra - probably my 20th that day - was not going to work, and, by the time bedtime rolled around, many tasks had been done...but many had not.

In good news, I have been officially promoted to Maid of Honor as of last night's rehearsal dinner. Which means writing a speech, but that's totally cake for me.

I love my mother AND I will not allow myself to be in my current state of disrepair on the eve of my own wedding (for which we are now under the 11-month mark).

I am so thoroughly looking forward to 12:30. That's haircut and blow-out time.  I have a family friend do my hair, so it's nice that I don't have to fake chatter with a semi-stranger or sit in uncomfortable silence; I can just talk to a person that I care to talk to.

My mind seems to have scattered itself into a piecemeal of related thoughts, but without segues among them.

Also, just because it seems like a good idea right now, I plan to liveblog tomorrow; updates will come as they happen (or not, if things are too crazed).

Now it's time to shift gears into thinking about a young girl and her intellectual capabilities, so that I can finish my report about same and provide recommendations to this family about bolstering the academic functioning of a girl with low to average abilities.

Crumble and Rebuild

MY MOTHER'S WEDDING IS IN 5 DAYS.

Several days ago, I made plans with my mother, her fiance, my sister, and my younger brother to get together at my apartment this morning for wedding planning.

I got a call from her fiance at 10am (the agreed-upon meeting time) telling me that they had not yet left. It's a 45-minute drive from there to here.  They left after 10:30.  My siblings and I waited at my apartment.  When my mother arrived, it was clear that we would not be starting wedding planning just yet; my mother was not feeling well.  In respect for her privacy, I will leave out many details saying only this about her state of mind: something external to the wedding triggered a series of intense and upsetting feelings which rendered it difficult for her to see past same.

Fortunately, I threw my therapist hat on and spent some time figuring out what it is we could do to help my mother, in about a hundred senses.
Once she was stabilized feeling better, I went about the task of first trying to understand what needed to be done, organizing same, and delegating what could be delegated.

It took a lot of my energy to move things forward so that my mother's wedding is set up for success.  While eventually a fair amount got done and I feel ok about how it all turned out, the ordeal morning has left me with a lot of leftover feelings, the preponderance of which are not fun.
Even as I write, I am conscious of whether or not my mother will read this (probably not).
I want to be completely honest.
I do not want to hurt feelings.
At the moment, I'm not sure I can effectuate both.

Here is what tomorrow's schedule looks like:
10:00 am - Go to the mall and pick up mine and my sister's bridesmaid dresses.
10:05 am - Argue (I'm predicting) with the tailor about what was and was not done to the dresses and attempt to be refunded about half of what we have pre-paid for the alterations.
10:30 am  - Shop for more things I need for the wedding.
11:30 am - Drive from Pleasanton to Richmond (at least 45 minutes)
12:45 pm - Terminate with client #1
01:35 pm - Terminate with client #2
02:25 pm - Tell client #3 that we are NOT terminating; we have 4 "bonus" sessions
03:15 pm - Terminate with client #4
04:20 pm - Tell client #5 that we are NOT terminating; we also have 4 "bonus" sessions
05:05 pm - Terminate with client #6
06:00 pm - Begin termination paperwork
08:00 pm - Leave from Richmond for home (at least 35 minute drive)
09:00 pm - Being my task of creating the escort cards for the wedding and following-up with my mother and sister about how things are progressing.

SUMMARY: a long flipping day full of emotional drainage.

I am hoping that this is the end of the line for major disruptions related to my mother's wedding.
Wish us luck!