Sidebar: Idealized

I have stumbled across yet another article that I find interesting which relates to the fact that I am getting married shortly: Want a Happier Marriage? Unrealistically Idealize Your Partner

This article reports on a recent study which drew the conclusion that unrealistically idealization of one's partner is correlated to higher marital satisfaction over the first three years of a first marriage.

They suggested that people may either distort their actual perception of their partner to more closely fit the concept of their ideal partner or they have adjust their concept of an ideal partner to match the qualities of their current partner.

Either of these possibilities are interesting.

But what is important here, as it always is, is that these data are correlations....so there is no determining the causation.  The authors state that one alternate possibility is that people who are simply in more stable and satisfying relationships tend to have an idealized perception of their partner; thus, the causation flips from the headline which suggest that, as long as you force yourself to idealize your partner you'll have a happier marriage.

As always, my critical thinking and curious mind asks: how does this differ, if at all, when taking into account length of courtship and/or whether or not the couple was living together prior to marriage.  I expect that the trajectory of Chris' and my was different when we first started living together versus what it will be following the wedding.

Very interesting.

Article: Gender Difference among Couples in Conflict

I stumbled across the following article recently: "Women Have More Intense Emotions Than Men When Conflict Arises Within The Couple"


Yeah, this one has a little bit of a "duh" factor, I know.
I can't help but enjoy it though.  And it helps that this study was published in a peer-reviewed journal.  The author of the article about the actual study printing writes: 

"One could expect men to express more domineering or "powerful" emotions as wrath, anger or despise, and women to have more submissive attitudes guilt, sadness or fear. The results have proved that women feel more intense emotions, both powerful and non-powerful."

Again, not that surprising, but having a scientific study note this definitely makes me and my feminist heart happy and feeling justified.


Even more, the actual authors of the study write: 

"The socio-cultural context and gender-based roles assigned to men and women respectively might have a relevant influence on the generation of expectations concerning their role in relationships and in conflicts within the couple." 

Not that any of this necessarily applies to me, but I do definitely pay a lot of attention to the articles about couples and marriage these days.  I wonder why......

Sidebar: Our Marriage Will End The World

Alright, so maybe that title is an overly-dramatic extrapolation from this article about how there is a religious leader who is predicting that the world will end of the day of our nuptials.

Evangelical minister Harold Camping has predicted that the rapture (also known as the second coming of Jesus Christ) will occur on our wedding date.  In the first link, there is an article that details why he is making this prediction.

Now, I am not one to ridicule religion, and this post definitely is not about that; rather, I find it interesting how religious leaders have predicted this same event and other end-of-days proclamations many times over particularly because other religious leaders are having their own reactions to this prediction.

The truth is that I find it amusing and interesting that the end of the world has been predicted to occur on the day I will be promising to spend the rest of my life with someone.

Now to be fair, the rapture has been predicted many a time by many individuals for dates past and future.  But I'm note getting married on those days......

Sidebar: Dissertation Complete!

For the past nearly four years now, I have been working on my dissertation project.
I have spent countless hours reading, writing, editing, prepping, consulting, and doing more writing and editing.
The result was a 270-something-page manuscript that included an original novel, positive results, and a treatment manual.

In January, I sat down with my committee (READ: three psychologists and faculty members) to defend the product.
They passed me, but made some suggestions for edits.
So over the past month, I made changes and send drafts to my committee's chair.
When he returned a copy with a thumbs-up and no edits, I sent it off to be reviewed by the dissertation clearance office (READ: one person).
When he sent it back with no suggestions for changes - less than a week ago - we scheduled a day for the clearance meeting.
That meeting was today.

Despite the rain in the city, I made it in, pages in tact.
A few issues came up, but were quickly resolved.

I handed over my pages (on 100% cotton paper that cost nearly $40 per ream...and I had to buy two reams) and nearly $250 in money orders.
He shook my hand.
I left the building.

As of today, I am officially, 100%, no-holds-barred, completely, and utterly FINISHED with my doctoral dissertation.

The feeling of freedom simply leaving those doors and into the San Francisco drizzle was extraordinary and liberating.
I have finished my dissertation.
I have completed all required coursework for graduation.
Now.
All I need is to complete one year of full-time internship (speaking of which, applications to the California system were due today and I will find out next Friday, the 25th, whether or not I get one of the national-system placements that I applied for previously).

So close.

Time to celebrate.

Sidebar: New Zodiac Signs

Sooooo...apparently, because of a change in the rotation of the Earth in relation to the stars, the correspondence between days of birth and one's Zodiac sign has now changed.

Now, I don't put much any stock in this sort of thing, but I do think they're fun and interesting.

Previously, I was deemed a Pisces (The Fish) and Chris a Taurus (The Bull)....now we are an Aquarius (The Waterbearer) and Aries (The Ram), respectively.

This website says the following about our compatibility based on the 'element' of our signs (with our names substituted with that of the 'elements'):

Chris's drive and energy burns brightly with Carolynn’s intelligent ideas. Meanwhile, Chris’s zest for life where combined with Carolynn’s playfulness can result in great times together.

This website had this to say, based on our specific signs:

You will feel a strong tie of friendship, whatever relationship you both share. There will be mutual trust and much care of communication back and forth. You are very different yet these differences will have little or no effect on your respect for each other. There could be sense of responsibility, some sort of inescapable duty that brings you together and strengthen the bond between you. You will find these individuals easy to share your feelings. You will constantly stimulate each other into changing habits and existing situation.

(They also caution that "checking your compatibilities by only sun sign pattern is not full proof system of match making.")

I'm not sure how I feel these summaries fit with our actual lives/relationship, but I do know that I didn't read these and change my mind about how important the Zodiac is to my life.

Just for fun....something I don't get enough of. :)