Boot Scootin' Boogie!

As you may or may not know, I am (along with Christopher) a country dancing enthusiast!  We go dancing at a local country bar pretty much as often as we can (which is not as often now as it used to be).   Christopher also says that the moment he realized that he was in love with me was when he was watching me while I was on the dance floor.

As such, we thought it only fitting if we did one line dance during the wedding.  Racking my brain, I carefully selected the line dance "Boot Scootin' Boogie" that is danced to the song of the same name by Brooks & Dunn.  We plan to teach the line dance at the rehearsal to our wedding party, but we thought it would be fun to give ALL of our guests the chance to learn the dance.

I scoured the YouTube for an example or instructional of the version of the dance that Chris and I know.  That took for-ev-er!!!  Apparently, the version that we do is not the most popular version so the video below is the best that I can find.  

These folks do the correct version for us, and it is altogether a pretty simple dance compared to many of the other line dances that I might have chosen.  We will be doing the dance after I change into my reception dress following the cake cutting.

So go ye forth and learn the dance so that you can have fun with us (even if you do feel a little silly while doing so)!!!!!!

Someone Must Be To Blame

Someone must be to blame for hitting my PANIC! button.

Because, remember when I was talking all about how I am totally calm?  Yeah.
Gone.
Like, poof, into thin air.

This blog post will probably be listed as "published" at something like 2:00 am PST.  I started writing just before 1:30 am PST.

Now, not to say that I am freaking out about details that need to get done or something tragical happening....mostly, I have sneaking feelings of impending doom and my thoughts are racing like they're in the final stretch going for Olympic Gold.

I jump topics like....well, all analogies coming to mind at this moment are a bit inappropriate...suffice to say it is a lot!  I am thinking about: the classwork that is due on Friday (four separate projects, each of which involve writing at minimum 5 double-spaced pages of pure text), what we are going to do for our honeymoon, how the apartment is a mess, the outstanding RSVP's, where we are going to find the apartment for LA, that maybe I should be working out more since the wedding is so close, how long am I going to have to stay at La Familia on Thursday to finish paperwork, when I am going to fit anything else in, how I have a party on Saturday, about coordinating flights for my officiant, my guilt over not having worked on my vows hardly at all, the upcoming move and the required organization, Chris' health, how little food we have in the apartment right now, how good Taco Bell sounds right now, that I should maybe lay off the salt until the wedding to avoid bloat, and how it would be nice to finish the dishes but that would probably be too loud and wake Chris...........
The list goes on.
And on.
And on.

You get the idea.
It's tremendous.

All with this sinking, nagging feeling that, even with every pot I have my finger in at the moment (because everything listed above will be done in time and at least adequately), I am missing something vital.

This rigamarole, this tirade in my mind is what has me up at 2:00am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning when I have scheduled myself for a 9:00am yoga class.

Now, before I click off here and hit the publish button, it would be unfair of me not to acknowledge that this is not the only time in my life where anxiety has taken sleep from my grasp.

Even as I prepare to finish this post, I took a look around the view of the apartment from my perch at my desk to see what other task I can tackle before attempting to sleep.

DIY: Children's Activity Bags

Following the advice and suggestions of many a bride-to-be, I decided early on in the planning process that I wanted to provide activity bags for the children who will be attending the wedding.  Since I happen to love silly toys and things, it was in short order that I purchased bags of small toys and such from Oriental Trading.  I got a couple of big mixed bags that included: bouncy balls, finger traps, mini-slinkys, kazoos, stress balls, erasers, noise-makers, and various other sundry.

I also separately bought a large-batch of crayons (which apparently decided to not include the colors yellow or red), activity sheets, and slow sticks.

I distributed these items across the 10 bags that I determined would be sufficient for the number of children attending for whom the bag would be appropriate.

I packed them up, boxed them together, so that they are ready for placement at the seats where the recipients will be seated.

 Now the strangely difficult part comes: which individuals get these bags...some ages are obviously just right for them (the 5-8 year olds, for example), but what of the younger children (I have a 3-month-old and a 12-month-old attending, among others) and the older children (11? 13? 15? 17?).  Finding the stopping points on either end without leaving anyone out should be an interesting endeavor.

Either way, I hope that the parents appreciate the bags and that the children do not get into too much trouble having fun!

TWO WEEKS!

What?

I know.

So nuts.

Can't believe it.

Two weeks from right now, I'll be eating and dancing with our family and friends.
Two weeks from right now I will be married.

Sidebar: Idealized

I have stumbled across yet another article that I find interesting which relates to the fact that I am getting married shortly: Want a Happier Marriage? Unrealistically Idealize Your Partner

This article reports on a recent study which drew the conclusion that unrealistically idealization of one's partner is correlated to higher marital satisfaction over the first three years of a first marriage.

They suggested that people may either distort their actual perception of their partner to more closely fit the concept of their ideal partner or they have adjust their concept of an ideal partner to match the qualities of their current partner.

Either of these possibilities are interesting.

But what is important here, as it always is, is that these data are correlations....so there is no determining the causation.  The authors state that one alternate possibility is that people who are simply in more stable and satisfying relationships tend to have an idealized perception of their partner; thus, the causation flips from the headline which suggest that, as long as you force yourself to idealize your partner you'll have a happier marriage.

As always, my critical thinking and curious mind asks: how does this differ, if at all, when taking into account length of courtship and/or whether or not the couple was living together prior to marriage.  I expect that the trajectory of Chris' and my was different when we first started living together versus what it will be following the wedding.

Very interesting.

The Bridezilla Conundrum

So it seems now that the time has arrived wherein people are expecting that the Bride (that is, me) is going Crazy preparing for the wedding.  Which is understandable given that: (1) popular culture tells us that the Crazy of the Bride ramps up and up and up as the wedding gets closer and closer and closer, (2) the wedding is now 16 days away, (3) I am typically deal with stress by dipping into my deep well of anxiety, and (4) there have been a lot of stresses with the wedding previously.

I am, however, shockingly cool, calm, and collected.
Yes, there are a few is a lot is is still tons left to do before the big day, but I am feeling that all of this is well in-hand.  Partly, this may be because while, previously, there had been some...shall we say challenges?....with personalities involved in the wedding, those seem to have been sufficiently resolved.  Well, at least they have been resolved enough that I don't have to deal with them.

It also helps that we have a better head-count for the wedding (only 32 people have not yet RSVP'd - and yes that is only since two days ago that number was more like 50), and that I had my third and final dress fitting on Tuesday.

Another factor is that I am approaching my final days working at my practicum placement; I am going in later this morning and after that I have two days of practicum left, which will consist of training meetings and paperwork - no more client meetings.  That leaves me with the remainder of my time to work and to work on the wedding.  That's a full week with the wedding as my primary task.

I think also that because I did begin grappling with a lot of the emotions about the wedding well ahead of time, I am able to focus on the excitement.  I have butterflies of excitement, not of impending disaster.  I am feeling free and clear of so much of the nasty, heavy anxiety that generally plagues my world.

I am completely ready to be present and conscious for my wedding day, so that I can experience all the wonders and joys of the entire day.

Licensed

On Monday, Christopher and I went down to the Alameda County Recorder's office to apply for and pick up our wedding license.  Like usual, I was excited about this big step; the license is the single most important item for the wedding....without it the actual wedding cannot happen.

So early on Monday morning, we hied ourselves to downtown Oakland (always charming) and located the Country Recorder's office.  It was surprisingly easy to find, and surprisingly easy to find street parking (albeit metered parking).

Neither of us having been married before, when we went into the offices, we were obviously stumbling around like idiots trying to figure out where to go first.  A computer lab looking room to our right, the welcome desk to the left, or the large room in front of us with workers at a U of desks lining the wall clearly used with patrons sitting across from the employees.  We started towards one of these desks with a worker seated there but who was not serving any patrons.  When we told her why we were there, she politely redirected us to the computer lab.  We followed the instructions to complete the information on the form - including our parents' full names and birth states - and proceeded to the welcome desk where they handed us a form to complete by hand.  Following that, we waited in the room with the U of desks for our number to be called and, when it was, made our way to the designated desk.

When we sat, the woman congratulated us heartily on our impending marriage and answered our questions easily and with apparent enthusiasm.  She asked about the wedding and how it was going to be while simultaneously processing our paperwork.

Then came the moment that felt pretty big to me: writing for her on a piece of blank white paper the name by which I will be known - legally, personally, and professionally - following the marriage.  I am keeping my first name the same, adding my current last name as a second middle name, and taking Christopher's last name.
I slid the paper back and waited for her to complete the data entry.

She told us the fee total, processed our payment, and handed over several pieces of paper for us to take with us, including: the marriage license that needs to be signed to certify the wedding, an instruction page for us regarding the paperwork, an instruction page for our officiant regarding the paperwork, a novelty certificate (what? weird, right?), and a booklet that includes information pertinent to married people.

She actually opened the last and showed us a page that listed the national domestic violence and sexual assault hotlines.  She was apologetic about having to show it to us, but I think we confused her when we both said that it was good that she did...we did not have time to tell her that we both work with BAWAR and are social justice advocates, so she seemed a bit perplexed.

Regardless, she congratulated us once again, handed me a large envelope with all the paperwork and sent us on our way.

When we got home, I showed Christopher and made him watch while I put the envelope in a safe and logical place so that we do not lose it.

And so we shall be married!!!

17 days.
Can't believe it!!