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Monday, June 21, 2010

Crumble and Rebuild

MY MOTHER'S WEDDING IS IN 5 DAYS.

Several days ago, I made plans with my mother, her fiance, my sister, and my younger brother to get together at my apartment this morning for wedding planning.

I got a call from her fiance at 10am (the agreed-upon meeting time) telling me that they had not yet left. It's a 45-minute drive from there to here.  They left after 10:30.  My siblings and I waited at my apartment.  When my mother arrived, it was clear that we would not be starting wedding planning just yet; my mother was not feeling well.  In respect for her privacy, I will leave out many details saying only this about her state of mind: something external to the wedding triggered a series of intense and upsetting feelings which rendered it difficult for her to see past same.

Fortunately, I threw my therapist hat on and spent some time figuring out what it is we could do to help my mother, in about a hundred senses.
Once she was stabilized feeling better, I went about the task of first trying to understand what needed to be done, organizing same, and delegating what could be delegated.

It took a lot of my energy to move things forward so that my mother's wedding is set up for success.  While eventually a fair amount got done and I feel ok about how it all turned out, the ordeal morning has left me with a lot of leftover feelings, the preponderance of which are not fun.
Even as I write, I am conscious of whether or not my mother will read this (probably not).
I want to be completely honest.
I do not want to hurt feelings.
At the moment, I'm not sure I can effectuate both.

Here is what tomorrow's schedule looks like:
10:00 am - Go to the mall and pick up mine and my sister's bridesmaid dresses.
10:05 am - Argue (I'm predicting) with the tailor about what was and was not done to the dresses and attempt to be refunded about half of what we have pre-paid for the alterations.
10:30 am  - Shop for more things I need for the wedding.
11:30 am - Drive from Pleasanton to Richmond (at least 45 minutes)
12:45 pm - Terminate with client #1
01:35 pm - Terminate with client #2
02:25 pm - Tell client #3 that we are NOT terminating; we have 4 "bonus" sessions
03:15 pm - Terminate with client #4
04:20 pm - Tell client #5 that we are NOT terminating; we also have 4 "bonus" sessions
05:05 pm - Terminate with client #6
06:00 pm - Begin termination paperwork
08:00 pm - Leave from Richmond for home (at least 35 minute drive)
09:00 pm - Being my task of creating the escort cards for the wedding and following-up with my mother and sister about how things are progressing.

SUMMARY: a long flipping day full of emotional drainage.

I am hoping that this is the end of the line for major disruptions related to my mother's wedding.
Wish us luck!

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