Judgy McJudgerson

Recently, I realized something very disheartening and shameful about myself.

Looking through Facebook over these past weeks and even months, I notice how many of my friends have become engaged, married, or parents. When people have these things happen, I am happy for them and excited for whatever new beginning they embark upon. I do, also, as a person who plans to make a living based on what people do and how they operate, find myself eminently curious about these things that are happening to my friends and acquaintances.

This is not the disheartening thing I learned. Maybe it can be a little voyeuristic at times, but it is positive and natural, to my way of thinking.

This realization came when someone posted photos of her recent wedding. I found myself judging, much to my dismay.

I looked at some photos and questioned to myself why the flowers, dress, venue, and etc were chosen. And not in a way that I would call inherently kind. To be clear, nothing about this wedding was outrageous; it did not veer widely off the beaten path. Most of what was photographed seemed traditional and reasonable.

And still, somewhere in me, I decided to judge.

Even if the dress had been categorically ugly (which I am not saying it was), why in the world should I care?

Once i noticed myself judging, I continued on looking through the photos (damn, that curiosity!), all the while purposefully and intentionally forcing myself out of judging.

Even this made me feel so tiny.

There is no reasonable purpose to judging someone else's joyous day - particularly when all those photographed seemed happy.

I wanted to share this revelation because I know I am not the first and only person to judge. That doesn't excuse me, by any means; rather, it makes me fallible. Something which I am all to aware of.

I also realize that this means that it is likely that, when Chris and I post photos of our wedding, there will be some people I know who will look at the photos and judge something about us and our day.

My job is to, now realizing that, accept it and let it go. Not an easy feat for me, by any means.

My job is also to acknowledge my own flaw in being so quick to judge and - even though it is sad that I must do so - remind myself when I look at someone else's choice: "[Person] seems happy. And that is enough reason to be happy for [Person]."

Hopefully I can grow from this.